with huge sun

August 30, 2009

a few days ago i was blessed to be on a cliffside path along the ocean again.
with huge sun, my mother powerwalked ahead. my aunt and her lhasa apso, daisy, brought up the rear. sisters with different paces and needs.
my shining glorious knight in silk and golden curls burst ahead, flushing the birds and negative space. my heart exploded when i could see his eye teeth glinting where the sun caught them and dressed his big smile.

pulled apart and reborn.

when the lifted, winding path deposited us along the expanse of white sand and sea (is there more than this? ever? anywhere? is there less?), lancelot and i broke into a run.
this was not at the gym. this was not to sweat out failures – attempts at being human and loving draining out from pores, left outside skin, easily washed away in an hour’s shower –

this was joy.
this is my hope.
muscles and flesh in time and warmed by each other and the great song of the ocean, ankles and elbows deep in such gleeful calling – oh to be home

o to be home.

we ran through the water and zagged up through sand, kicked up seaweed! our lungs filled and emptied. our hearts share blood. the eternity of our wonder, sheer, solid, shifting, painful and perfect.
for lancelot and for myself, this was birth, this was rebirth, this was the millions of tiny deaths we hope we will be present enough to notice

dear august,
you have never once failed me, so i never will you.

this life is pure
this is my faith
all you masterpieces, sad artists, vain illusionists, mediocre children, bent caged creatures, are here.

‘nature is a language – can anybody read?’

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