heading home after work

September 7, 2009

14th and 22nd. Yknow. The way the sky looks at me before 7am arrives makes me think maybe I should follow. Endless summer 4. 5. 2009. 10. ….I’ve never been a numbers person….

favorite building too big for one lens. either the ground with a white balance,
or the roof, backlit. the trees on balconies are for living eyes only

homeless trot, the bereaved and sick
pools of the dead to swim through for the farmer’s market

driving a huge farm truck/trailor behind a paraplegic man in a motorized chair. traffic in union sq. better than dodging cabs to stop your loved one from getting in that car to go to that plane to leave you alone all over again.

windex and fish, a smell all its own. privileged to be the one smelling it as the fish people set up their stand and wipe down all their coolers. glug.

all the mums. always a good conversation for the first minute of it. then they realize i’m not what they thought, and i don’t have words for them. not in the fleshy vocal space between us, i don’t. i never do.

the oranges and burgundy or auburn or crimson, autumn watches summer’s defiant eyes. she’ll let you down every year, every time, but she will look you in the eye as she leaves.

the oranges and deep bruised reds in such pristine, peculiar petals. the perfectly green buds, leaves, stems, “roughage” as my father would propose, … reach up to me with their edges, like they would like to hug. or hold hands. at least hold my face. at the very least touch my cheeks or ears. their little ridges, curling up at me. why thank you, little ones. i love you too. it is a fine world, yes.

the thing is…

we sit closer to strangers on those worn benches than we do our families at home or afar. we wear headphones with the volume off or battery in need of a charge. what i mean is, feigned nonsilence.
we are basically kissing at that rate.

ladies first so the skirted woman i am this morning is unable to retrace her monosyllable she scrambled on the subway pillar 5 nights ago. the man forces me to consider his considerate nature and i’m swept into the train without a chance to swim.

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